Life Without You

I wrote this from Edward Cullen's perspective about how he felt when he left Bella in "New Moon."


I left you out there in the wood
Because my continence told me it was for your own good.
My still heart tears when I see the look in your eyes
The look of sadness, which I so strongly despise.
You sit there on the ground staring in shock
So strong, you can???t even talk.
But I know this is only for the best
To let you live life like all the rest.
I???m a demon a monster, I deserve to go to hell
The better side of me demands not to cast you with this spell.
You???re my angel from heaven, the light of my life
To leave you like this cuts like a knife.
I want to run back and hold you tight
Never letting you out of my sight.
Your nice warm skin, your beating heart
The dead one in me is tearing apart.
You???re my lover, my angel, my soul mate
To bite you would fill me with unimaginable personal hate.
You are my banana, I your monkey
I give you support when you are clumsy.
Walking away I give my soul
Without you I will never be whole.
I love you enough to let you go
I shake with dry sobs but won???t let it show.
You deserve someone better someone who isn???t a devil like me.
Someone who won???t damn you to living for an eternity.
I???m running far, far away
Begging you not to follow but stay.
My continence is slowly pulling me back
I beg of you, don???t fall for Black.
Alice said you jumped the cliff
And running through my head are a million ???what ifs???.
You lost your life because of me
I cannot live without you so I run to the Voutri.
I demand them to kill but they will not fulfill.
So I run to the village and sparkle in the sun rays
Now I have nothing else to say.
They have no choice but to let me die
For life is over in my mind???s eye
Without you I am hopelessly lost
I will join you at any cost.
I???m almost there. I???m almost free
Away from living an eternity.
Then I hear a faint scream and cry
They turn to sobs and I don???t know why.
These people don???t know me. They don???t know who I am
So why would they even give a damn?
Reluctantly I turn around
They owner of the voice is no where to be found.
Then I feel the faintest grip
Someone slipping and then they trip.
I look down and I see brown
The face is more than a frown.
I lift them up to face me
To see who would give such a desperate plea.
I see your eyes swimming with tears
And in them I see a million fears.
I hold you tight against my chest
Having you there is a feeling so much better than the rest.
How could I be so stupid and believe such a lie
I never wanted you to die.
I have no choice but to believe that it???s true
That the person in my arms is really you.
Why did I not just listen to my heart?
Why did I think to do this in the start?
All I wanted was to protect
But the after math of what I did is even worse than I expect.
I promise you with all of me
That now my mistake I clearly see.
I solemnly swear to leave you never
Have you be mine, for ever and ever.